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“There’s definitely a huge pressure on young people these days,” says Anna, 26.

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A couple that I met yesterday on the sidewalk and shared a beer with invited me.

He has three Cambodian friends with him also, sitting at one end of the table speaking Cambodian amongst themselves. I’m not sure if they’re saying no or just shaking their heads at me as in “hell no, you crazy American.” I think it was both. He presumes that because there have been more tourists and because the politics have changed (this is the first era of relative peace in Cambodia after decades of war, occupation and brutal dictatorship), more Cambodians are educated and “understand about the world.” It’s the same, he says, “as you want to know ‘how about Cambodia? ” He explains that when he was young most girls would only have sex with one man in their whole lives. But then he looks up again for a while and shakes his head side to side, weighing his thoughts. Hopefully there will be more change to be more open.” “For me” he says, “ I feel like I don’t care, you know? You are gay and you have to be a man.’ It’s not like that!

They all look like people that look young for their age. They look at Don and say something in Cambodian, which I’m pretty sure is something to the effect of “you do it.” I begin by asking ignorantly, “In Cambodia if you like a girl, how do you ask her on a date? There was no real culture of “dating,” as in taking girls out on dates; “it’s not like you would just take a girl out to hang out.” So I ask: “Now, in Cambodia can you talk to a girl? ” The drunk Frenchman interrupts again: “You say I’m gonna put you under the coconut tree!!! If what they do is good or bad, just let them do it. What they do or how they think, it’s not my problem.

” Don, ignoring the Frenchman, continues explaining, “You can try to get her phone number and talk to her but you don’t invite her out on a date. I will follow you.’” Girls almost always decide where the date will be. Just let them.” He takes another long exhale, watching the Frenchman who looks like he’s about to come out with another crack. Don takes a sip of his beer and suddenly looks concerned.

Men are “chiller now and give more control to the girl.” But then he clarifies again that this is different from when he was young, when men took more control of women. ” Don, shoots back laughing, “Yah bigger than your one-pack!

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